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9-9-9 makes it my 35th birthday. Practically half my life done with and just yesterday I started teaching "for reals" It feels like its been weeks ago right now. I'm still getting the handle of things bu I havent broken down in tears just yet.
Thanks to everyone, sincerely for the birthday wishes. I really needed to see them today, it helped a lot. Will post at the end of the week when I can breathe.
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Andre the Giant, the bangles, Steven Spielberg, the hobbit guy, Josh Brolin, a TRULY compelling story, Short Round, and the little fat kid (plus a sweet Camaro at the end).
Poll #1452927 Greatest music video
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 5 Greatest video: My favorite part is when the the sea which (is that a celebrity of some kind?) tells Cyndi Lauper to go over the side and get some more Sushi "Lass" and Cyndi goes "Oh no. NOT THAT!!" She was pretty cute, wasn't she?
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Like clockwork the autumn weather shows up on my first official day as a history teacher. No students yet, I spent the day cleaning up my very own classroom. It's huge and has two walls of windows. There was a fake tree in my classroom and I offered it to any other teacher who wanted it. My neighbor said I don't want a fake tree or a real tree. I hate trees. I said "Sounds like you picked the wrong profession. You should have been a lumberjack." She looked at me and said "No, I'm a teacher." Then the longest three seconds in the world passed. Then she looked at me and said "OH. I get it! You're funny." I considered saying "So are you, but looks aren't everything." but I figured that would be too much for her.
Fall brings the start of professional American football, and with that American football announcing which is absolutely unbearable. Two phrases that annoy me to no end.
1) "Smashmouth football" Besides coming off like a really a desperate and overcompensating ploy to make football sound more masculine it also reminds me of a certain crappy 90's band. That band of course is Fastball.
2) "Ticky Tack Foul" No grown person, man or woman, should ever be heard to utter such an infantile sounding phrase unless their job involves changing diapers.
What's up with you guys?
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The most amazing thing happened yesterday. After doing the holocaust museum thing I went to the Salvation Army to look for records. They basically don't have them anymore (there were just a handful of classical music ones) So I was about to leave all bummed when I saw this Selmer case behind the counter. "Hmmm" I thought, "That looks pretty long, it's probably a trombone." The guy behind the counter was helping a woman with some jewelry so I decided to just quit wasting time and leave, but then I turned around and figured what could it hurt to ask. So when the woman was done I asked what was in the case. He didn't know, so he opened it, and in it was a bass clarinet, complete and fully playable. The thing that's been on my list to buy for the last like 5 years. It's so weird cause my birthday was coming up and just the day before my mom and Sara had been asking me what I wanted, and as usual I ask for that, and as usual they say it's too expensive. The cheapest old used ones cost $500 and that's without the mouthpiece. And here I just stumbled by chance on one for, get this, $79.99!! It's wierder because they are kind of rare, they don't usually end up in places like thrift stores. The guy said it had just come in that day. I can only assume this is fate! So I started up again last night. Considering the last time I played it was in 1994 or so, I think I did alright. There are two notes I can't play right now, the very highest and the very lowest, but I think I should be fine with some practice.
In the meantime here is( the furniture I designed and built from scratch... )
The stuff still needs one more coat of stain and then it's delivery time.
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They need to make a version of Dr. Suess' "Oh the places you'll go" for adults, but call it "Oh the shit you'll get done" because getting shit done starts taking precedent over going places around the time you hit 33. That being said, my shit getting feels like it's been dragging a bit lately, but I can tell you that I built, from absolute scratch, a serious plethora of furniture last weekend. Currently sitting assembled and half-stained in my mom's garage right now are one bed (in three pieces) one small/simple desk, one very tall narrow bookcase (which will not be used for books) and two bedside tables. Spent yesterday sanding them and today brushing on the stain/poly-coating. My hair is all stuck together with liquid plastoc. Here's me hoping they will be done this week and I can post pictures of my fabulous new bedroom suite.
I start my new job a week from tomorrow. No teaching for the first week of course, I'll be trying to give my classroom some personality and whatnot. I've been warned that one class of students is going to be hard to get interested in history at all. I'm trying to keep my expectations realistic, without getting frustrated in advance or anything.
Sara got a new super cool job. Basically doubled her salary, so with that and my new gainful employment, we will have money. Real money. (Amigo money) <-movie reference there. I'm very proud of her. It will be weird having her make more money than me though. Her theater company also found a place to do 448 psychosis for a longer run. (Did I tell you guys that my girlfriend won the capital fringe festival?)
On the volunteer front I'm still plugging away at the holocaust museum, though I'm not making as much time for that I should. The project mainly deals with locating letters and journals from the holocaust itself. I have been finding some amazing stuff though. One of the saddest was this slovakian guy who maintained a baby book for his daughter right up until 43, when she was hitting her teenage years. Another one was this Jewish prisoner who worked as a secretary and was killed for a love letter she wrote to another prisoner.
I've also been teaching a citizenship class every Friday at Clarendon education center. Invariably the students at the end of each lesson tell me I'm a good teacher and ask what other nights I am teaching (none) I'm not sure if this says more about my amazing teaching ability or if it is a poor reflection on the other teachers there. I prefer to think it is the former. For the first time, one of my students will be taking the citizenship test (a week from Tuesday) He's a middle aged guy from El Salvador. I think he'll be fine but I'm a little nervous for him just the same.
The ESL class continues to go well, I guess it's been about a year since I started that. I didn't realize how rewarding it would be.
I'm pretty sure I didn't get the part time county job I wanted, but I suppose that's just as well. I would have had to give something up.
Tottenham have won their first three games of the season! That has been a joy to witness I'll tell you!
Everyone asks what I want for my birthday, and I can't figure out what to say.
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Nice purple neck-kerchief there Cody. Makes you look so dashing, so Machiavellian.
Check out the creepy look on dad's face in the last frame.
Here's hoping the next panel is Cody kicking dad in the balls and telling him to keep his incest ridden hands off Cody's woman.
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Tonight was gross. It started with picking up my dog's turds. Then I got in my car where a half empty container of milk had apparently spilled open and festered in the 100 degree weather the day before. It smelled bad, but the bonus was that Sara and I were driving to Denny's which increased the grossness multiplier by about six to eight. (Don't ask why we were there, I'm still not sure I understand it myself) While we were there I got a disgusting double cheeseburger that tasted like onion meatloaf, and Sara picked out this gigantic dandruff flake from my hair. Then when we got home, I farted. A big cartoony style one too.
Here's hoping tomorrow brings something more profound.
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For my next trick I'm getting serious about enjoying my summer with only about three weeks of it left. I'm almost kind of scared of becoming an "official" working man again, with the 8 to 4 schedule and everything.
I shouldn't have bought this Rock Band game. My back is sore from drumming and I can only complete the simpler songs on the medium settings. No Steely Dan or Replacements available until I unlock the one billionth song or something.
My interview went extremely well today. That is my jynx. If I get the job I will most certainly have to give up some of my volunteer stuff. Speaking of which, I got an email from one of my ESL students last night.
"Hello, my name is Vanessa, I'm from Guatemala and I want to learn English, could you help me please....thank you. You are a good Teacher, every body think the same thing.
Have a nice day and enjoy your weekend....please sorry for my mistakes.....
Bye...."
Isn't that like, the sweetest thing ever? (And before you start asking, she is not hitting on me or anything) But how do I explain to her that Everybody is actually singular?
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I have an interview for another teaching job, one that would supplement my current one. I'd be teaching two nights a week for one fifth of a regular salary. I think that'd be a pretty good deal. It would mean that I'd have to give up at least one or two of my current volunteer gigs. That would make me sad, but nothing is forever right?
Carolina beach, I have learned, is not actually part of the outer banks. It's dirtier, grittier, and the mini-golf is cheaper. There is only one arcade in town "Hi - Tech Arcade" I won't know until I visit it tonight if the name has become ironic or not. There is an alarming lack of butt postcards here, which is making Sare very happy, and I have not seen one questionable t-shirt store. Not quite an epic fail yet, but on its way.
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Postin' at a dirty Bojangles in North Carolina. Feel the magic. (Did you know Bojangles has free wi-fi?)
I peed on the side of the road today for the first time in a long long time. It didn't feel as good as I remember.
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I watched an hour long "biography" of family ties on the biography channel last night. It was pretty much what you'd expect. Not enough Skippy (wonder what's become of him) It made me think about death too much. I remember watching that show as a family. Why can't they churn out stuff like that anymore? Does anyone remember the crappy movie they did where they went to england? I can't decide if it was a rip off of national lampoon or the other way around.
Tonight, I am watching cake boss.
There are too many reality shows.
Tomorrow I a journeying to the furthest reaches of the outer banks. (Carolina Beach) Wish me luck, long trips give me anxiety and lead to senseless panic.
Oh, one last thing, I had a really good ESL class tonight, my class really dug learning how to say things were "too expensive" or that they "cost too much"
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In what crazy mixed up fifties world is a mailman presenting you with a dead and rotting rabbit carcass supposed to be funny?!
Oh wait, I see. It's funny because it was SUPPOSED to be delivered to the magician down the street. You see magicians traditionally produce rabbits from places that you wouldn't normally associate rabbits being produced from. That is to say anyplace other than another rabbit's ovum. You know: hats, sleeves, behind your ear, a mailman's bag. AHA, see it's a puzzle, is the mailman himself the magician or did the magician use his evil powers to teleport the rabbit into the bag as some sort of bizarre plague spreading voodoo curse on the Bumstead household? Who is this new dark and mysterious addition to the Blondie universe? My mind is totally being blown now! Someone really earned their comic writing money with this one!
Oh, by the way I was being sarcastic.
Tuesday comics.
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So, at long last, I have found gainful employment as a high school history teacher. I will not say where upon this blog of course, but the fact remains that the employment is gainful. Gainful to the max! I will be teaching five distinct curriculum though. This will be a daunting first year, the magic starts on August 31st, so stay tuned.
As soon as I found out I had a job, I immediately went out and spent a bunch of money on crap. I bought a new tiny netbook, and rock band 2. I hereby swear never to use the stupid guitar thingy on Rock Band, but to only sing and play drums, which, I will have you know, is not stupid and lame because you are actually singing and drumming. I'm not sure if it was actually worth $140 to satisfy my primal urges to play the drums to steely dan or the replacements. I will find out tomorrow. NO JUDGING. Now that my old lifelong dream of teaching will be fulfilled, my new lifelong dream will to be just like this guy (maligned venetian blinds and all):
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I'm doing too much crap for free I think. There's the ESL stuff, plus now I'm doing tedious bibliographic for the holocaust museum, AND I'm about to start teaching a citizenship class for the "immigints" so they can get all naturalized and steal jobs from real Americans and whatnot.
Sara's picture was in the paper AGAIN last Wednesday, so the press is after me naturally. It'll all end like "A Star is Born" (the 1937 version, not that stupid Judy Garland one or the even stupider Rockstar one) except I'll end up drowning myself in the Archstone pool.
I met Kareem Abdul Jabbar recently and found out that he HATES rap music. The same night I saw a screening of a documentary called Thunder Soul. Check it out when it gets a "wide release" (that sounds dirty)
Speaking of dirty, I finished reading the Decameron, and it is filthy fun. I recommend it in place of your regular harlequin romance series. It'll make you look classy, like me.
Also, the movie Adventureland is surprisingly good, with an awesomely awesome soundtrack! Not one but two replacements songs, big star, and they close with "Don't Change" by INXS, so I will as well.
INXS-Don't Change
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For those of us who grew up with Captain 20.
Today's word of the day is "mother-fucking-tan-bonanza"
Whereby children got salmonella AND a delicious treat!
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I've been having some nice weekends, and some nice times on the balcony here at Columbia Crossing. I installed some speakers out here and it's pretty flippin' sweet. Throw on some vinyl shut the door and let Sara stomp around the living room practicing her lines while I listen to the theme from taxi. (Who can tell me the real name?)
I am enjoying at-will employment SO much.
I think you should know that I had pancakes for dinner tonight.
Kelly's posting of her man's praline bacon inspired me to try something simple with the bacon I had a couple weeks ago. I just brushed it with honey, threw some cinnamon on it, and cooked the shit out of it. Delicious. Almost too delicious. I was eating it by the handful, like popcorn.
This might be the first summer that I manage to skip the inaugural sunburn and go right to the perfect tan.
For memorial day I visited Roosevelt island for the first time in a long while. We found baby turtles hiding everywhere. Also, I think Teddy gets my vote for most ridiculous memorial statue. He just looks so gilded age. Speaking of which....
Summer reading list is in effect I finished the first book Cheap Amusements today. It's a study of women's leisure pursuits in turn of the century (19th) New York City. I read it mostly cause I love the ladies and am always interested in old city lore. The most interesting stuff was all the old Coney Island parks. Speaking of which ....
I know two bands from this years Siren Festival. I am not really excited about either of them. Speaking of which...
I thought there would be a genuine generational divide that I would notice when I started subbing, but seriously, it seems like coolness stopped developing about five years ago. Kids these days go over old south park jokes, lonely island skits, wear beastie boys t-shirts, and sing "proud to be an american" ironically.
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This is Chad, and he is truly THE sound of Baltimore.
Well, he's the $3.49 sound anyhow. He might have gotten bumped up to an even $5.00, but an unfortunate spelling mistake by a product of the Baltimore city public school system gave this single the title "Luv's Passion and You" This meant of course that anyone looking for this single would usually wind up spending their hard earned windshield washing money on one of the bajillion other singles with Love as the first word, which came alphabetically before Chad's work. Even if they got past the "Love" section, there was still "Lost in your Eyes" by Debbie Gibson and "Like a Surgeon" by Weird Al to get through, and who can resist that combination?
Despite this setback Chad had a brief resurgence in 1988 due to his vague resemblance to the Randy Watson character from Coming to America.Mysteriously, he also had an unexplainable comeback during mid November of the year 2000, with a rushed maxi - single titled "Hanging with Chad"
He was also rumored to have a custom designed giant-size bedazzler that he used to make those intimidating new age jean jackets he wore.
Do yourself a GIANT FAVOR and watch the video;
"Your mind says no, your heart says yes ...."
the human condition, captured so succinctly.... Thank you youtube, for teaching us to love again.
It's just too bad that you all can't enjoy the extended mix that I have by virtue of owning it on vinyl.
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I subbed at a SERIOUSLY old school today. There were medicine balls in the auxiliary gym, like the old style leathery ones.
This evening I went and saw a presentation of a bunch of historic photos of Arlington. I have to say the presentation was rather lackluster, the photos may have been cool, but we were barely shown any of them, it was all just to sell one of these cookie cutter local history books that you see in the local section of your local Barnes and Noble. Unrewarding. However, I took those lemons and made lemonade with the records I found in the hosting library's booksale section. Remind me to share with you the cover of an album by an 80's Baltimore artist known only as "CHAD"
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I had a half day today, so I took the dog for a walk at this park that reminds me of when I watched Saturday morning cartoons, I suppose because Saturdays were the only days I used to go to this park. It had a little nature center, a giant frog infested tadpole pond and a bee shack, but most of the coolness just comes from the big stream that runs through it with surprisingly clean water. (Long live the stream) I remember collecting crayfish or crawfish or whatever those things are called from under the rocks there when I was little.
The important thing though was the Saturday morning cartoons, I think they went until about 11 o'clock, at which point they'd show some crappy live action thing designed for 13 year-olds, this was before saved by the bell or out of the blue or any of that crap. What I lived to see was the dungeons and dragons cartoon, muppet babies, and the Ralph Phillips Looney Tunes shorts. Does anyone else remember that kid?
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So after subbing today I stopped by the DMV and passed the test for my Motorcycle learner's permit. For those of you who live in Virginia, it costs a whopping three dollars, and you get second license, with a new picture and everything, so you can have different ones to show when you get carded or when you are meeting prospective employers. Had I known in advance that it worked that way I would have done a ridiculous picture for one of them.
I was an elementary substitute for the first time today. I just wanted to give it a try because the school was across the street from my place. I can't say I enjoyed it very much. These kids just don't impress me, no matter how well they can color, and every time I tell them they have done a good job, I can hear the sarcasm dripping off my voice.
Next week I start my summer grad school courses, and it's going to be ridiculous. Monday Wednesday and Friday from 7pm to 10pm for about two months. Haven't these people heard of the wonders of distance education? Why must everyone kick everything so painfully old school? They totally need to just burn that old school down, so we can all attend the new school.
30 rock feels like it's getting less funny, and the only compelling parts of the Office seem to be Andy and the new receptionist. South Park is just not good anymore. The closest they came this season to making me laugh was the fish sticks joke.
Sorry for being gone from LJ so long. Have I missed anything really profound?
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