Date: 2009-06-30 20:32 Subject: Twisted on the sideways down Security: Public

I'm doing too much crap for free I think. There's the ESL stuff, plus now I'm doing tedious bibliographic for the holocaust museum, AND I'm about to start teaching a citizenship class for the "immigints" so they can get all naturalized and steal jobs from real Americans and whatnot.

Sara's picture was in the paper AGAIN last Wednesday, so the press is after me naturally. It'll all end like "A Star is Born" (the 1937 version, not that stupid Judy Garland one or the even stupider Rockstar one) except I'll end up drowning myself in the Archstone pool.

I met Kareem Abdul Jabbar recently and found out that he HATES rap music. The same night I saw a screening of a documentary called Thunder Soul. Check it out when it gets a "wide release" (that sounds dirty)

Speaking of dirty, I finished reading the Decameron, and it is filthy fun. I recommend it in place of your regular harlequin romance series. It'll make you look classy, like me.

Also, the movie Adventureland is surprisingly good, with an awesomely awesome soundtrack! Not one but two replacements songs, big star, and they close with "Don't Change" by INXS, so I will as well.

INXS-Don't Change

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Date: 2009-06-29 09:13 Subject: It's Monday Security: Public

For those of us who grew up with Captain 20.

Today's word of the day is "mother-fucking-tan-bonanza"
Whereby children got salmonella AND a delicious treat!

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Date: 2009-05-31 23:16 Subject: I don't FEEL poor. Security: Public

I've been having some nice weekends, and some nice times on the balcony here at Columbia Crossing. I installed some speakers out here and it's pretty flippin' sweet. Throw on some vinyl shut the door and let Sara stomp around the living room practicing her lines while I listen to the theme from taxi. (Who can tell me the real name?)

I am enjoying at-will employment SO much.

I think you should know that I had pancakes for dinner tonight.

Kelly's posting of her man's praline bacon inspired me to try something simple with the bacon I had a couple weeks ago. I just brushed it with honey, threw some cinnamon on it, and cooked the shit out of it. Delicious. Almost too delicious. I was eating it by the handful, like popcorn.

This might be the first summer that I manage to skip the inaugural sunburn and go right to the perfect tan.

For memorial day I visited Roosevelt island for the first time in a long while. We found baby turtles hiding everywhere. Also, I think Teddy gets my vote for most ridiculous memorial statue. He just looks so gilded age. Speaking of which....

Summer reading list is in effect I finished the first book Cheap Amusements today. It's a study of women's leisure pursuits in turn of the century (19th) New York City. I read it mostly cause I love the ladies and am always interested in old city lore. The most interesting stuff was all the old Coney Island parks. Speaking of which ....

I know two bands from this years Siren Festival. I am not really excited about either of them. Speaking of which...

I thought there would be a genuine generational divide that I would notice when I started subbing, but seriously, it seems like coolness stopped developing about five years ago. Kids these days go over old south park jokes, lonely island skits, wear beastie boys t-shirts, and sing "proud to be an american" ironically.

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Date: 2009-05-21 19:20 Subject: The choice of a new generation Security: Public Tags: lp covers, lps

This is Chad, and he is truly THE sound of Baltimore.



Well, he's the $3.49 sound anyhow. He might have gotten bumped up to an even $5.00, but an unfortunate spelling mistake by a product of the Baltimore city public school system gave this single the title "Luv's Passion and You" This meant of course that anyone looking for this single would usually wind up spending their hard earned windshield washing money on one of the bajillion other singles with Love as the first word, which came alphabetically before Chad's work. Even if they got past the "Love" section, there was still "Lost in your Eyes" by Debbie Gibson and "Like a Surgeon" by Weird Al to get through, and who can resist that combination?
Despite this setback Chad had a brief resurgence in 1988 due to his vague resemblance to the Randy Watson character from Coming to America.Mysteriously, he also had an unexplainable comeback during mid November of the year 2000, with a rushed maxi - single titled "Hanging with Chad"

He was also rumored to have a custom designed giant-size bedazzler that he used to make those intimidating new age jean jackets he wore.
Do yourself a GIANT FAVOR and watch the video;


"Your mind says no, your heart says yes ...."
the human condition, captured so succinctly.... Thank you youtube, for teaching us to love again.

It's just too bad that you all can't enjoy the extended mix that I have by virtue of owning it on vinyl.

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Date: 2009-05-14 22:45 Subject: Old school Security: Public

I subbed at a SERIOUSLY old school today. There were medicine balls in the auxiliary gym, like the old style leathery ones.

This evening I went and saw a presentation of a bunch of historic photos of Arlington. I have to say the presentation was rather lackluster, the photos may have been cool, but we were barely shown any of them, it was all just to sell one of these cookie cutter local history books that you see in the local section of your local Barnes and Noble. Unrewarding. However, I took those lemons and made lemonade with the records I found in the hosting library's booksale section. Remind me to share with you the cover of an album by an 80's Baltimore artist known only as "CHAD"

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Date: 2009-05-13 21:51 Subject: Well excuuuuse me princess... Security: Public

I had a half day today, so I took the dog for a walk at this park that reminds me of when I watched Saturday morning cartoons, I suppose because Saturdays were the only days I used to go to this park. It had a little nature center, a giant frog infested tadpole pond and a bee shack, but most of the coolness just comes from the big stream that runs through it with surprisingly clean water. (Long live the stream) I remember collecting crayfish or crawfish or whatever those things are called from under the rocks there when I was little.

The important thing though was the Saturday morning cartoons, I think they went until about 11 o'clock, at which point they'd show some crappy live action thing designed for 13 year-olds, this was before saved by the bell or out of the blue or any of that crap. What I lived to see was the dungeons and dragons cartoon, muppet babies, and the Ralph Phillips Looney Tunes shorts. Does anyone else remember that kid?

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Date: 2009-05-12 21:23 Subject: Rezzies in the DMV Security: Public

So after subbing today I stopped by the DMV and passed the test for my Motorcycle learner's permit. For those of you who live in Virginia, it costs a whopping three dollars, and you get second license, with a new picture and everything, so you can have different ones to show when you get carded or when you are meeting prospective employers. Had I known in advance that it worked that way I would have done a ridiculous picture for one of them.

I was an elementary substitute for the first time today. I just wanted to give it a try because the school was across the street from my place. I can't say I enjoyed it very much. These kids just don't impress me, no matter how well they can color, and every time I tell them they have done a good job, I can hear the sarcasm dripping off my voice.

Next week I start my summer grad school courses, and it's going to be ridiculous. Monday Wednesday and Friday from 7pm to 10pm for about two months. Haven't these people heard of the wonders of distance education? Why must everyone kick everything so painfully old school? They totally need to just burn that old school down, so we can all attend the new school.

30 rock feels like it's getting less funny, and the only compelling parts of the Office seem to be Andy and the new receptionist. South Park is just not good anymore. The closest they came this season to making me laugh was the fish sticks joke.

Sorry for being gone from LJ so long. Have I missed anything really profound?

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Date: 2009-05-11 14:49 Subject: That's so Hungary Security: Public

I went to see a screening of the new Péter Forgács documentary at the National Gallery yesterday. The dude was actually there taking questions and everything, I had to leave right at the end though because of the movie because of this whole mother's day concoction. Anyway the movie was really fascinating stuff, and I only got annoyed at the music a few times. (I HATE it when "documentaries" try to use music with lyrics to set the cultural mood it always just ends up feeling really contrived to me.) The movie consisted almost entirely of "home movies" of the early 1900s and oral accounts and letters of Hungarian immigrants to New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania. Interesting stories all, and I can never get enough of old movies.

I did a hundred push ups a couple weeks ago, and that has inspired me to get down to writing my new year's resolutions just in time (right before June)

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Date: 2009-05-05 16:03 Subject: Goodnight sweet prince. Security: Public

So sorry to see you go.



:-(

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Date: 2009-04-08 12:49 Subject: The face of EMO Security: Public

I saw Emo Phillips at the Cinema and Drafthouse on Saturday. He was funny, but I found it annoying being right by one of the speakers because every time he hit a punchline he made this big wincing noise and I was treated to the amplified sound of saliva being sucked through Emo Phillips' teeth, which is nowhere near as glamorous as it might sound.

I've been doing this one hundred push ups workout program along with running, I'm up to 76. I thought my chest would hurt more but it's been surprisingly not so bad. They have a little logging thing to keep you honest. If all goes as planned I should be past 100 in another week.

Schools are off this week which means I'm off as far as substitute work. Last Friday I taught that special ed class and this "one little Indian" boy kept singing "I am the very model of a modern major general" I think he heard it on the family guy or something. Another kid kept calling everything Orwellian, and wanting to argue about the home owners association in the town he was in.

I went to the cherry blossom festival on Sunday, after going to this lecture on Pasolini at the National Gallery. There were all these ladies wandering around dressed like ballerinas, and a table for scientologists to give free readings. Is this what passes for a festival these days?!

Anyhow, I'm feeling pretty good today, so I think I'll go check out what's happening at the holocaust museum.

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Date: 2009-04-02 23:12 Subject: I'm still alive. Security: Public

Since I last wrote I've had three interviews with three different school districts, all of which have gone REALLY well. Of course there are no actual positions open yet, and there won't be until May at the earliest, but I am staying optimistic. In the meantime, I am keeping busy being a substitute. So far, I have seen some really awful teachers, and I can't help but notice that all the kids I am told to "watch out" for, seem to behave just fine for me. I am going to assume it's just my amazing charisma. I might know for sure tomorrow night, as I've taken a job the day before spring break starts, for special ed all day long. Should be an experience.

Besides that, the ESL class I teach is getting out of hand as far as attendance goes. Last night there were 48 students in my class. I know its volunteer, but they need to give me an assistant or something.

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Date: 2009-03-18 14:05 Subject: The more you know and stuff Security: Public

My trip to Boston was fun but not funny, except for the face Sara made when we left her laptop at Union Station. It was like the tragedy drama mask. Seriously.

And speaking of serious things, March is women's history month. I would write another post about a famous woman, but no one ever seems interested in those posts, and I would probably end up writing about Mary Worth anyway, which .... did you see the stupid storyline about the deadbeat fiancee this week?

Anyhow. March is also Brain Injury Awareness month.
http://www.biausa.org/biam.htm
Here are two images associated with such, one is associated in my mind and one is associated through google's images search.

This year I was made aware of brain injury on the Boston mass transit system.
I just happened to be there on the same day as their St. Patrick's day parade. There were giant foam Irish hats everywhere because that's what catholic holidays are all about. If people weren't wearing those they were wearing these messed up tuque hats that some ad wizard decided to put bills in. I bet Kid Rock wears them, along with a snuggie.

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Date: 2009-03-13 21:33 Subject: I'm going back to cambridge... Security: Public

Tomorrow morning at I'm catching the 5:25 am train out of D.C. to Boston so I can go see Throwing Muses at Middle East in Cambridge like I did in ... 1999(?) and yes, I do plan to party like it's that year.

It's so weird for me to remember how big a part of my life the community around that band used to be. Some of that has hung around into livejournal world, but whenever I read about those friends I no longer think of Throwing Muses at all. Nonetheless, I'm hoping I'll see lots of you there. On the morning after I'm meeting up with my longest friend (temporally, not spatially) We were best friends in the third grade where we were dead ringers for each other.

If you are at all interested in teaching or what goes on school or that kind of thing, go see "The Class", it's finally in theaters over here, and it was really enlightening.

I start subbing next week. I've already turned down a P.E. teacher gig.

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Date: 2009-03-05 17:20 Subject: The cobra strikes without warning! Security: Public

$310 a month for COBRA insurance? More like NO BRA' insurance ("BRA'" being short for brother or something)
Thppppt. I think I'll take my chances. The AIG thing has sort of soured me on the whole concept of insurance anyway, and it's not like anyone will be accepting it in the looming economic disaster to come, where hot dogs will become our form of currency.

I took the LSAT last month, with the aim of getting a good enough score to get hired by one of the tutoring places, and I just barely missed getting the 99th percentile score all the main places require, and they are all very strict about the rule, so it looks like I'll be taking it again this summer, and this time I will use STUDYING. I'm hoping this whole venture will provide me some extra income in my lean teaching years. In the mean time, invitations to join law schools help to soothe my unsatisfiable ego.

I had to put that genuine accomplishment there so I have something to balance with this pathetic accomplishment. I can run three miles in under 30 minutes again (yay) I'm almost back to the shape I was in two years ago. EXCELSIOR!

Did you know that Alexandria City lets people volunteer for their archeology digs in the summer? It's true. I'm gonna go buy a fedora and a bullwhip tomorrow!

I'll have an LP post tomorrow, and maybe some boring pictures of the apartment to share.

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Date: 2009-03-03 14:25 Subject: Oh dear! Security: Public Tags: tuesday comics

Best Mark Trail EVAR! The only thing that would have made it cooler is if it featured Mark getting speared by the killer deer with rabies.

That's what you get for fucking with Nature Jack! Actually, another thing that could have made it cooler would be if that deer's antlers came out with the guy's entrails draped all over them like some gothic Christmas tree of humanity.

The correct answer for the first question posed in today's Mary Worth would be "NO! and I don't want to know. I just want this horrible storyline to end, NOW!"

BLARGH! The guy has a tiny french mustache, wears a bright garish orange jacket, and calls his fiancee "Queenie" and everyone thinks this guy is too good to be true.
Does being treated like a queenie entail what I think it entails?

Criminal neglect continues full speed ahead on the phantom. He's apparently set them adrift at sea with the spoon man in a giant boat shaped like a banana.

"They seemed a little BORED at home!" sounds like it should be followed up with an evil maniacal laugh.
"To see many surprises young kit!" (Shudder)

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Date: 2009-03-02 17:24 Subject: Lousy smarch weather... Security: Public

It is March 2nd, which means it is time for me to GET SERIOUS about bloggin' again. SERIOUSLY. I have adopted several new truisms since my last personal update here, the first of which is undoubtedly "Mo' facebooks, mo' problems!" I friended an acquaintance who happened to be my best friend's mortal enemy without knowing it. Now my best friend's wife is mad at me, despite my protestations about the non-genuineness of facebook friendships. What's more, every single classmate from every school I ever went to has friended me, and because I don't want to appear rude, I grant their requests, despite how crappy they treated me in elementary school and what not. This I could live with, except they heap insult upon injury by tagging me in some giant class photo from our fifth grade field trip and then incessantly "comment on a picture of me" which has nothing to do with me, triggering a torrent of irrelevant emails that I suffer through after I run to my computer's beckoning email tone hoping for an email about my employment prospects, or at least an message from one of my genuine live journal friends. Fie on the internet, FIE I SAY. ...and I won't even get started and all the friend's mom's, weird relatives and priests.

I went to a substitute teacher orientation for a county which shall remain nameless. It was mostly stuff like, don't ask the students out on dates, don't dress like a whore, don't look at porn at school, don't tell kids that there's no Santa Claus and so on. There's other stuff though, like "don't be sarcastic" which will be only slightly more difficult for me than the Santa Claus thing. They also showed an hilarious video about blood born pathogens with several vignettes of bleeding middle schoolers screaming and flinging their blood everywhere.

I've taken a tutoring/small class teaching position at a local college prep place. It's alright and is giving me some nice experience. The ESL class continues to be the most rewarding though.

I've started running again. I want the weather to be slightly warmer.

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Date: 2009-02-17 07:47 Subject: Blue Lagoon VI Security: Public Tags: tuesday comics

Slim pickings in the comics these days, but the more I'm learning about this phantom character, the more he is creeping me out like nobody's business.

Looks like he has a weird domestic partnership role playing thing going on with the chubby shirtless guy who wears a skirt and a lampshade. Those kids of theirs are dead ringers for the blue lagoon pair too.

Phantom is an absent father.

I really hope "counsel" isn't a code word for what I think it's for.

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Date: 2009-02-10 17:14 Subject: When bad comics go good... Security: Public Tags: tuesday comics

Without fail, whenever I read the comics on Tuesday, I wish I read less of them. That changed with today's reading of "The Phantom" I have no idea what is going on here, but it looks pretty cool.

Giant lizard monkey men, some ornery old hippy wearing a soiled rag on his head and gesticulating with a large wooden spoon, and some metal band called Croccos playing at sea... I'm going to have to start paying closer attention. I'm cuckoo for Crocco-puffs.

Rex Morgan unfortunately is just as lame and racist as ever.

Panamanian Nationals (exclamation point) Better put on our surgical masks so we won't have breath the same air as those dirty wetbacks. Does the artist for his strip think he's being all artistic when he does the stupid elephant eye shots like in the last panel? It's the equivalent of someone with a new camcorder doing the relentless zoom in - zoom-out on every movie they take.

Speaking of relentless, racism and dirty elephant eyes....


Poll #1347162 What's Mary's Beef this time?
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

What will Mary Worth's inevitable problem be with Adrian's new bachelor companion?

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Date: 2009-02-03 17:46 Subject: Now for the ladies O.P.P. means something different.... Security: Public Tags: tuesday comics

Mark has really stepped in it this time! He got caught frolicking with a married woman and a deer in the forest apparently taking pictures (wink wink nudge nudge say no more squire!)

Even after getting caught all Mark can think of is his dirty bestiality pictures, at least patty has the decency to hide her face in shame of all the awful things she's done with Mark and "Bucky"
Ken meanwhile gets to use that most masculine of phrases that symbolize one's true attainment of the American Dream "GET OFF MY PROPERTY" I wish someone would walk on my car some day so I could actually yell that.

Gil Thorpe is either stuck in a comic book ad for building muscles or one of the early seasons of 90210. That actually looks like Brenda and Dylan from the  old series as they ....

.... connect.
Nice earring (weirdo)
Maybe Larkin was rejected because of all those weird boils on his skin, I know I'd want to keep that kind of condition as far away as possible from any team I was coaching. Remember, an attractive team is a confident team, just look at those girls who continue to win and ask yourself, "would they be such winners without their perfect skin? Would they so confidently point at smile at each other or hold their fists up in the air as they swing from their imaginary trapeezes if they hadn't had their proactiv treatment that morning?

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Date: 2009-02-02 11:02 Subject: Blinded with science Security: Public

I had a pretty good weekend.

Friday, the famous Emily came over and told me where to put stuff in the new apartment, and after I got a couple things from Ikea, the place actually looks REALLY nice. Nicer than any place I've ever lived. I feel like a grown up person. I'll take some pictures later.

Saturday morning I got up at 7:00am to go and judge the science fair. My background as a computer programmer made me an obvious ideal judge for the "PLANT" category (In my day we called this "BOTANY", but today it's just "PLANTS" The school had 61 entries in this category, most of them involved throwing some sort of kitchen ingredient or product on radish plants and seeing how they will grow. A couple of the bad kids did the effect of cigarette smoke on plants FOR SCIENCE (yeah right) I always made sure to ask them what brand they used. The one project I really liked and argued for first place for, was a couple of kids who figured since plants were green, they must only use that wavelength of the light spectrum in photosynthesis, so lets see what happens when we color light. Fun theory. Their only problem was that they misspelled PLANTS on all their graphs so they read "HEIGHT OF PANTS" "MASS OF PANTS" and so on. I was the only judge to notice this apparently. What a great teacher I'll make.

Saturday night was Sara's cast party, hosted in our tiny apartment. There were about thirty people at it's height. I got lots of compliments on the furniture I built and the picture from Elizabeth NJ that I framed. Emily's arranging got lots of compliments too, so it was nice night of affirmations and such. Theater people LOVE playing Karaoke revolution party.... very loudly. I was worried about my neighbors, but didn't hear from them or anything, even when the guests were screaming sweet home alabama at 3 in the morning. Oh yeah, another good thing about this party is that I didn't turn into a pumpkin at midnight like I usually do. I think I was just about ready to when everyone left, so that was fortuitous timing.

Sunday my car broke, overheated like crazy. Beautiful weather for it though. I found the problem, the end of the radiator hose was all calcified on the engine end, and the clamp broke and all the antifreeze had slowly leaked out. I wire brushed all the crap off and replaced the hose clamp. Problem solved. That's three repairs I have undertaken myself since, the start of the year (new bearing, new front brakes, stupid little hose thing) ok the last one wasn't very impressive, but I'm sure I saved myself some money by not immediately running to a professional.

The weather was SO nice yesterday too, I took Sara's dog to the dog park for a good half an hour or so. Turned off the heat and left the balcony door open all day long. The superbowl was alright, the commercials were really lackluster. The only one I really liked was the career builder one where the co-worker goes "hey dummy"

The Office was good for the opening. I liked the overhead projector going through the window.

How was your weekend?

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