I get these awful headaches if I don't get enough sleep, and they are so frustrating simply because I can see them coming a mile away, and I can't do anything to stop them unless I go to sleep, which I can't do because of kids/work. Today I had a bad one, had to leave my last class early. The assistant in there is really good, and covered for me. I owe him big time.
Two words for 2017: book and club.
Oh, two more words: game and night.
I jinxed myself with the whole, starting to feel in control bit. Walter woke up with pink-eye, and for the first time I had cancel work to stay home with a sick child. It ended up being an good day, and Walter made some fine motor skill leaps, putting colored rings on sticks and then clapping about it.
I'm still laboring through "You can't go home again" and I have this long backlog of shorter works that I am itching to get to, but am so far resisting.
First snow. Barely enough to take the kids sledding.
Spent a good chunk of the morning chairing the Safeway committee I was sucker enough to become chairman of. All the members of the committee understand this stuff better than I do. How? I have no idea. Really, I have to keep telling myself "I'm a smart guy" and I am. I understand the machinations of my local politics more than 90 percent of the people in the county. But these guys are on a whole other level, and its pretty intimidating. Eventually if this new town center makes it though, I'll be able to say I made it happen.... because of my tireless efforts at reserving meeting spaces and relentlessly nodding through guest speaker presentations. Then my political career begins in earnest.
At home things feel strangely under control for the first time. I don't want to jinx it, but I'm sure most of it has to do with the fact that Walter is sleeping through the night. We also just got rid of two side tables in our living room, and suddenly the place feels bigger and less messy. I think it may be as simple as one less surface to accumulate junk.
We watched the movie Red Turtle last week. It depressed me, and I'm not sure what it's message was if any. However, I found the starry sky scenes beautiful, and profoundly calming. I can recommend a viewing.
I had an undocumented student confide in me today. He and his parents came here in 2011, and their visas have expired. He doesn't know whether he should be worried about all the Trump garbage. I tried to help him apply for DACA but he apparently doesn't qualify because he wasn't here when Obama made that first call. I told him I'd see if there was anything else we could look into, but I don't think there is. His best bet, probably, sadly, would be to marry his girlfriend at nineteen.
Truth being, he's most likely okay short term as long as he doesn't run afoul of the law. It's too easy for me to be cavalier about this stuff though. His parents though, how do you prepare to retire without citizenship I have to wonder.
Regardless, I have to admit, I was a little touched that he felt comfortable enough to talk to me about it.
Today was everyone's first day back from Winter break, and although the challenging students seemed just as challenging, I didn't find it as annoying, at least for today. It might just be because I basically lectured to every class, which is hard to mess up as long as I know what I'm talking about. Tomorrow however is what they call a "block" day at my school, which means classes are 90 minutes long.
I'm not going to lecture for 90 minutes, as much as I'd love to, and this is where the kids reluctance to actually do anything will most likely get to me. I think I might just try more hand holding this time.
Today was of course, Walter's actual birthday. Sara tried to get him to blow out a candle again, but as advanced as he is for a one year old, this was simply a bridge too far.
Today we pretty much spent the entire day preparing for Walter's birthday, which I guess was really more a party for us and Fiona, as Walter would have been happy with anything. It was a tremendous amount of work to find cupcake accessories, for very little pay off in the end. I will say that Fiona really enjoyed the making of the tiny cupcakes though. The party itself was really a nice affair, with an eclectic mix of family, neighbors, and theater people. Walter hammed it up.
Sara has me on a diet with her, a diet I don't really need as far as weight loss or getting in shape or anything, but deep down I know I eat too much junk. So, she's in charge of the food regimen, and I'm in charge of our workouts... which are pretty simple. Just google "Nerd Fitness Beginner Bodyweight Workout" That's us every Monday Wednesday and Friday. Last month I was wearing a T-shirt in class and one of my students asked me if I lift. (I don't)
Today was the last day of winter break for all of us. Miraculously, Walter started sleeping through the night during these last few days. Just one of the few things I need to be thankful for as I get back to one of my harder years of teaching so far.
I got up early today, full of energy despite the lack of sleep. Sarah and Dave came over to have breakfast and watch the spurs game with us, which was very nice. They are good good people. Later in the day we went to the Botanical gardens and once again lacked the enthusiasm to wait in line for the holiday display, opting instead to simply peek in the windows and doorways at it, and just go to the general portion of gardens for which there was no wait. Walter walked around the Christmas tree there going nuts and trying to eat plants. He keeps pointing at things and trying to talk to us. He is truly a joy to me.
Sara and I had another child together, Walter. He is an amazing fellow....
...but I am more and more drained of energy and the will to do .... anything. The school year just started and my schedule is crushing my bones to dust.
My best friend moved to Alaska. I kind of hate Facebook.
I am tired of being reminded of shitty things that happened ...
This blog will keep me honest.
I remember how I used to write and it frustrates me that I am not so addicted to the act anymore. I remember having thoughts, that I once thought clever and original, needing to be shared. Re-reading old posts however, makes me realize what a child I was just a few years ago. I'm wiser now but more aware of how I must sound, in the most negative way.
I want to cut through everything and start with more honesty.
My wife did a play last year, Orlando, maybe you've read the book. I remember being struck by the protagonist's desire to write an authentic sentence.
Despite feelings of great authenticity these days, my writing remains so .... petty. There's something I have to share. I need to find it. I might just move to a different place (digitally) to do that. This was never a platform for honesty I suppose.
Hey, it's Tuesday.... anyone read Family Circus today? It makes a good point regarding women's driving skills.